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the examiner
June 27th 2023
omg omg omg. how did everything just happen at once??? i had my first solo show. and a lot of people showed up. i thought there would be like 7 but it was at least a double digit. and i got all these features in the local paper and stuff, finally got the courage to meet the garden club, pattie, and the council members irl. off the bench. also met a new member of the arts council, intern at a&m. they made 2 big tables of food, and loved the vinyl i put on the wall. I now need to get ready for the closing ceremony. and maybe look for more residencies? and maybe find said residencies in places like san antonio, austin, dallasβ¦β¦ etc. places where my friends can come.
(image: picture in the local paper accompanying the city council third quarter liaison to the Planning & Zoning Commission)
the council
June 12th 2023
i have gotten pretty far. but not far enough.
i made 6 new paintings since the last time we spoke. trying very hard to keep a theme with the compositions, and the colors, and the subjects, and the paint type. jennifer packer kept me afloat. why? because shes awsome, and makes work that resinates with me. she said she deserves to be seen, acknowledged, and heard.
and i feel this.
i too, want to be seen and acknowledged, not only present.
claire and i moved into a new apartment. same complex. but a different number. we r preping for steven to join us here when hes done with school. january isnt too far away.
my australian friend is coming to visit for a week.
i am going to see, meet & be introduced to the navasota city council. I dont talk much, and i havnt really nailed down what my work is EXACTLY about yet. but im sure things will go fine.
(image: the canvas on the left became ghost steven, and the canvas on the right became my rackβ¦.. OF COATS that is.)
its SHOW TIME
May 30th 2023
Okay things have been a lil wild. ive been telling all my besties that i been working. which i have, but my top priority was waiting for my roomie to come to navasota finally. which never happened. they had family stuff to deal. its complicated. but now i have to make a whole ass show myself. i told them i was going to fill up the walls. and im doing as much as i can with the little time i have. wish i worked as hard as im working now, while i was waiting. I just thought my space was going to be half of what was there.
i mean yeah i did plan a specifically sized piece for each wall immediately when I got here. and i did start cutting the canvas for each piece planned. but i didnt expect to actually have to use them. they were more backup than a main peice.
But alasβ¦β¦β¦ the world has other plans for me.
(image: some gallery planning/prep for my show Pink Blanket)
the reason for my art
April 23rd 2023
(πͺπ€π±π₯π*emotional*πͺπ€π±π₯π)
idk if this was a brown person thing butβ¦
my earliest memory in art was laying on the carpet of my pre-school class, drawing an umbrella. the umbrella had many designs made of sharpie, crayon, and markers. Cy Twombly would have been shaking in his boots. when i was on that carpet, time passed so quickly. I looked up and was one of the last ones there. drawing was so playful, easy, and relaxing to my body. a feeling 4 year old sarah never had before. along with the sudden influx of attention because of this drawing. entering art shows, paper labels, blue ribbons, plastic metals and stapled up in displays next to the principles office. for all to see. now framed in my parents house.
i thought my work was going to be invisible, as i usually was. i knew my small female mexican body was only to be used as tool. at 4 years old i knew my place. but i was shown value i didnt know i had. all because of this umbrella?? suddenly my body was elevated to something more. the piece gave me autonomy. the piece gave me a voice. the piece allowed me to exist.
i was worth something.
who wouldβve known, after 20 years of life, i would still be chasing that high. I never want my voice taken from me. i deserve to exist. i deserve to be something more than just a body. and if art is something that gets me to that point. so be it!
the arrival
April 15th 2023
im heeerreeee!!!
big beautiful old ass house, all to myself for the time being. i have a roommate coming in may. thats when the real fun will start to kick off. for now i am scraping up all and any photos for paintings i want to make. have been wanting to make. will soon make.
i walked through the house the first time with michelle and i felt like a kid in a candy store. the gallery walls are gigantic. and the home feeling is perfect for the home vibes im trying to create.
This is going to be sooo cool.
(image: new and old pieces im finishing/cleaning up to prepare for the first exhibition. I hope more than 3 people come.)
the RESIDENCY
March 29th 2023
aint no way. it finally FUCKING HAPPENED.
I GOT INTO A RESIDENCY.
FINALLY. I CAN RELAX.
ive applied to so many, and have been rejected so many times. the gods grew tired of my complaining and gave one to me!! Its the Navasota Artist in Residence Program with The Arts Council. Going to be a 4 month program with 2 exhibitions, a $600 stipend, and i get to teach some summer classes. i hope this takes me somewhere cool. i hope to finally become seen. Yale is on the horizon.
(image: claire and kitty laying on the couch.)
the over exposure
Feb. 26th 2023
not me finally wanting to become a tik tok-errrr.
ive realized i am horrible at talking abt myself, and thats kinda what i need to get people to look at my work right? tik tok is fun, and a VERY good way to make so many friends with people who are ALSO becoming artists. everyone is so niceβ¦β¦β¦.. for now. i wont screw this up, i promise.
Im going to try nd get 1k likes to put my clout demons to rest. hopefully i can keep it going.
(image: new underpainting of me and blake)
the birth
Jan. 18th 2023
24 and feeling it, omg. this is the first time ive ever felt a bit too old to be doing nothing with my life. ive felt like ive always had time, but now it feels like time is catching up with me.
(image: birthday table claire set up for me!)
the BIG dreamer
Jan. 3rd 2023
the new year finally happened, and its time to fricken celebrate. this is going to be the year i get my residency, and make some money moves.
A very *limited* amount of money moves cuz my works are kinda big. but trust me, my paintings will look fantastic on your dining room wall, or in ur bathroom ;)
found a name to the paintings ive been studying. they are Genre Paintings of the Dutch in the 17th century. all they do is stay inside, show their bare shoulders and be rich.
thats the life, ammirite? oh to be a 1700βs Royalβ¦
(image: a detail of the steven painting i finished� maybe finished? idk i can never tell.)
the panorama
Dec. 4th 2022
so close to the new year and so close to my birthday. i will be 24. 24 years and have achieved not much, but im getting there. i can feel it in my TMJ.
I have been asking myself, is βart fameβ what I want? how do i get there? what do i need to invest? what path do i need to take? do i genuinely HAVE to give up everything for a gallery name?
and a lot of my answers all come down toβ¦.
idk
do i want to play this game? time is running out and i can not spend my whole life stuck at these questions. I need to just create, put things out there, and see what happens. things will fall where they willβ¦β¦β¦β¦. right?
(image: claire and I observing the conversations between pieces in my newest collection.)
the habibi ghost
Nov. 26th 2022
happy thanksgiving to all. i love being stuffed with stuffing, gravy, and potatoes. I have taken some old paintings down from my wall and put new ones up. conquering my fear of starting something new. new things means more progress, and closer to the end of this collection.
I have figured out what my pieces are about.
not being perceived while at home.
home making our colors come to life.
(image: playing checkers with steven, and learning about the corruption of FIFA.)
the tools
Nov. 15th 2022
these are what i use to create. oil paint on carpet. the chemicals overpower the stench of weed that seeps through the vents from other units every night.
taylor swifts new album is a bop, and i have been painting more. was at a stand still for a while, but im here to announce, that im getting off my ass for the 15th time this year. i know, i know. such a hard worker. such a go getter.
im just trying to get verified on instagram.
(image: my trusty computer, the glass palette dan gave me, and my paints. all lit by the worst light source, next to a literal candlestick.)
the cover up
Oct .1st 2022
still hearing from my long distance lover, rejection. she sends me letters weekly from every far off land she travels.
the white mountains of washington. the brisk lakes of oregon. the over populated closets of new york. the camps in michigan. california. chicago. colorado. connecticut. etc. etc. you get it.
rejection writes that she adores my pretty little paintings.
and that i should βcontinue doing what youβre doingβ, and to βkeep going!β.
only a fool would believe her
and i guess that fool is me π
(image: painting #? called the cover up. dirty jackets and a backpack ive had since 2014. it still needs flower patterns and a velvet surface)
welp, this is it
Sep. 28th 2022
the 18th was claires birthday and we were riding high. gave her some cool vinyls like a ny sad boy. i hope she loved them as much as i did. if not, i will be claiming all of them as my own. shh dont tell her.
my friend elaine is making her own shows, and invited all the bros. people scouted me out. and when i say that, i mean my friends just came to see me for the first time since we graduated. i love them all. the show was fantastic, and i hope to gain more clout soon.
(image: a throwback painting to which i changed the name to βpeanut butter candleβ. taking a dirt nap, preping for the show.)
the queen ATE.
Sep. 9th 2022
i was on the gram complaining about being rejected from countless residencies and group shows again. whats new? ammirite ladies? so much so, that it encouraged my friends to start creating their own events. yes im taking credit for that. for the stuff that only us cool kids can join. im talking to seth right now about applying to shows. he came to see my work in my musky little studio. my first studio visit. his excitement is exactly what i was looking for. i feel so grown up and closer than ever to being a real artist.
(image: painting #5 called βBMOβ cuz of bmo from adventure time and the song by ari lennox.)
team batman
Sept. 1st 2022
its claires birthday this month. now i can watch her turn 24 while she sleeps. and take a picture of that to paint also. the lighting in my studio is so bad. these christmas lights and 2 desk lamps are making colors so much more dull. but atleast there isnt a reflective shine.
there is so much new music and the world is so much more colorful now.
i think my frontal lobe is in its final stages of development.
(image: painting #4 that doesnt have a name yet cuz i dont think it deserves a name. its silence is enough.)
salty air
Aug. 23rd 2022
im making things again and it feels so good. but also bad. but also good. i realized its now been a year since ive graduated from school. all my professors told me to take a year off to gain βlife experienceβ. all i experienced was lock jaw from TMD, a new taylor swift appreciation(!?), and an iphone 13 with only the charger wire in the box (wall plug sold separately). i guess its time to start preping for yale mfa. its been long enough. lol quite a reach of a dream but i heard if u say it enough times, it will come true.
(image: painting #3 named βpeanutsβ from when claire and i were trapped at her sisters apartment for a week during the texas snow storm.)
pink blanket
June 11th 2022
lorde was so fucking brilliant. the barricade cleared the fog. all i want to do is create. i have an idea of what my next move will be. more objects, less body. take some saville and blend it with some packer. lets see what we get.
(image: one of my new paintings that been hanging up on my wall, static, since april)
lorde is on the way
March 15th 2022
we bought tickets to lordes solar power tour, which is in May, we have our passports loaded and ready. Leeds will be interesting to see. its the saddest album ive ever heard. ive also discovered new artists such as Nathaniel Mary Quinn and Jeniffer Packer, who are slightly inspiring me. but still not enough to make me create. which is okay because i need to finish building my castle on minecraft. i play with my friends for about 12 hours straight when im off work. im definetly doing anything i can to distract myself from making things. im just trying to make it through this first year after school. i miss the community so much. but i will try to make do with that i have. and what i have is social media. follow me on instagram @catmeat3
(image: when claire and i went to del mar to pick up my foot painting from shockkbox)
finally
Jan. 18th 2022
its the day of my birth. i have stop painting for now. there is no need to make awful work. but a desprate need for it as well. this is the collection of nail clippers that grows larger every week cuz we keep buying new ones cuz we think we lose the other ones. its a cycle. i also am now a stage hand. lets see if i stay here for longer than 4 months. i love it more than any other job i have had. the people are kind and hard working, the resold hotel food is artisanal, and im finally discovering dallas. i think this is where i will stay for now.
(image: might become a painting? also might not.)
youtube famous
Dec. 6th 2021
i also started a youtube channel in hopes of becoming famous youtube influencer with art. but instead i just injected my love of fofao into the brains of many brazilians. now i have many subscribers from vrazil and i dont understand what they are saying. its okay, i watched some reality tv shows from brazil, so im pretty sure i know whats up. i will make more fofao videos because people like them as much as i do, and it warms my chest. maybe i can one day meet fofao and dance on the streets of rio.
(image: this is a claire hand collage i did while i was attempting to study color, stuffed in the clear slip in the front of my binder)
^^ new fofao vid just dropped ^^
&
the birth of catmeat
i tried
Sept. 1st 2021
i also had a job at the dallas museum of art a couple months back. i quit cuz it was very boring and i wasnt gettin paid enough. i also wanted too much uber eats, so it was partly my fault as well. My butt thanked me for standing 10 hours a day. the horror of having a flat ass in this society. this is what i was trying to paint, but it didnt go as planned cuz i didnt have a plan so i tore it up. now its on the floor of my room studio. idk what to do with it but im sure it will come to me sooner or later.
(image: a collage of body parts and old photos i took.)
this is me
June 16th 2021
here i am. back at it. in dallas now. i followed claire here cuz shes going to be a dentist. which is dope asf. these paintings no longer look like this. i have ruined them all. im now working as a stage hand, and trying to make money so i do not drown. some one pls help. i am also trying to apply to residencies so i can make art in a cooler city. no one ever told me dallas was so corporate. too many bank buildings here. not enough art. NYC wanna be.
(image: me in my new apartment room i got with claire. im painting all over the walls. rip our direct deposit.)
INTERGALACTIC SHOCK
Jan. 6th-13th 2021
i got the invite to my FIRST real gallery show!! at SHOCKBOXX Gallery in Hermosa Beach, CA. my girlfriend and i took a whole road trip of a full 20 hrs just to install this guy!!! we kept our masks CLOSE to us and saw mountains, windmills, and the empty grounds of coachella. also saw the biggest waves on record at 3ft tall, and real west coast surfers/pelicans. Mike also gave us a tour of his amazing studio in a building that just kept going. He lives the dream of every artist, truly. I hope to live my life as Mike does one day. the opening to the group show INTERGALACTIC OPEN 2 will be on JANUARY 16th on ZOOM!!
color of things
Nov. 10 2020
i was introduced to Joan Semmel to give Ms Saville a break from the smother. its hard to use color to enhance the material/experience of the material. maybe i will use glitter.
(image: my new painting for my new glitter)
the domestic
Oct. 20th 2020
learning about the domestic is hard. i dont know how to explain it without being clichΓ©. Yarn and bathrooms and a womanβs body are disposable objects in the home.
(image: my new painting of a giant disposable headless giant.)
Halls + Walls
Oct. 23 - Nov. 5 2020
i was in a Halls + Walls virtual gallery with my friends! everyone did an amazing job⦠collaboration on the horizon i just dont know how to ask.
(image: my new painting of me in my bathroom. the only place of bliss.)
to sum up the processβ¦
idk what im doing
here watch
FofΔo Celebrates
rebirth of Owner